The book Stolen Beauty is a picture in words, told from an adult perspective, of the abuse I experienced. My purpose in writing this book is to explain how I was able to deal with the pain, shame, and anger of that experience. I use the word experience, because it’s important to understand that the experience of child abuse does not make us who we are. It is only that—an experience, a bad one, no doubt, but the experience itself doesn’t make us a bad person. If I were to use the word victim to describe my experience, it might lead you to believe that I was blaming someone, so I hesitate to use the word because I believe there comes a time when we have to move from blame to forgiveness in order to get on with the process of healing and loving ourselves.
There also comes a point when each of us needs to recognize that life teaches us many lessons and each person’s lessons are unique. Every one of us has a path in life to achieve our very best. If we can learn to accept, to forgive, to live in the present by turning each bad experience into something of a benefit rather than an adversity, then we will grow. The way I look at it, I had two choices. I could use my experience of abuse to bring positive awareness to others or I could continue living in the past, dwelling on my pain, nurturing it to justify my own actions of inflicting pain unto myself and others and validating my feelings of unworthiness. I spent some time on the latter path. I am now on the path of using my experience to promote positive growth.
I am sharing the unraveling of that process so that I can offer my insight to every child who has been abused.